External validation for deep-seeded insecurities:

Here they are, my two awesome nieces:

 July 18-23, 2008

 Tuckaberry Productions Presents:

as part of A.R.T. N.Y’s annual festival

Aesop's Foibles

a musical for all ages

by Aaron Michael Zook

  

Starring:

Sarah Amandes, Emily Mattheson, Adam Baritot, Leah Carrell and Robert Stieger

 

 July 18 at 10:30 A.M. and 1:00 P.M.

July 23 at 10:30 A.M. and 1:00 P.M.

at the A.R.T. N.Y. South Oxford Space in Fort Greene, Brooklyn

South Oxford Space is located at 138 South Oxford St. between Hanson Place and Atlantic Ave. in Fort Greene, Brooklyn.  Easily accessible by subway: take the C to Lafayette, the G to Fulton St. or the 2, 3, 4, N, R, Q, B, D to Atlantic Ave./Pacific St.

Click HERE for a map

 Tickets are $5 each for all ages; please call 718-783-1348 or email Tuckaberry@yahoo.com to reserve—seating is limited, and tickets are going fast!

 

And one outdoor performance:

July 19 at 3:00 P.M.

at South Oxford Park

 South Oxford Park is located in Fort Greene Brooklyn on S. Oxford St. between Atlantic Ave. and Fulton St. Rain Location: Great Room at South Oxford Space, 138 S. Oxford St., down the block from the park. Info: 718.398.3078 or www.offbroadwayonline.com

This performance is free for all ages!

 And you can show your support in full color:  (at www.cafepress.com/tuckaberry)

So I have this friend (who also was my first boyfriend in the sixth grade) who now works as a nuclear physicist in Geneva.  I can only assume this means he's learned French and is helping with the Particle Accelorator (whose existence I only discovered last year even though it's been in the making for 14 years).  

Apparently, this thing is supposed to make teeny black holes in which to create new universes and dimensions.

cool.

Also, apparently, there's a lawsuit to prevent its operation because some (diminutive feline expletive deleted) is afraid the Earth will get sucked up into a black hole.

After listening to this: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89265915  , I think it's a worthwhile risk.  I mean, consider the future the way it currently stands.  More...what?  Pop culture?  Interweb?  Now, consider the future with alternate universes.  

Life has the potential to be a whole lot more interesting if this thing runs than if it doesn't.  And if the Earth gets sucked up into a black hole, at least I won't have to worry about my poorly-performing 401K anymore.   Besides, The Doctor won't let that happen.  The Earth's demise, I mean.  Not the 401K. 

 

And one underpant:

But where can one buy such wonderful things???

HERE.

Go see Wall-E.

I can usually find something mean to say about, well, anything.

I can't thing of a single thing about this film that wasn't simply wonderful.  

It made me gasp aloud in the theater.  And cry a little.  And laugh a lot.  And yes, we're talking about cartoon robots.

I won't say any more except that if you haven't seen it and want someone to go with, this is the sort of film that I would pay to see twice.  

Shook me to the core, it did.

 

I have just been told that, after two years of addressing holiday cards to "Mr. Jon and Mrs. Jane Doe" that this is incorrect business practice and we're reverting back to addressing them to "Mr. and Mrs. Jon Doe."

I don't know why this bothers me as much as it does.

I feel utterly nauseous and I kind of want to walk out the door and never turn back.

Incorrect business is to deny a woman's right to be addressed by her actual name.

I am revolted. 

I'm planning to hit the climbing gym this Friday evening if I can get a belay partner.

5:30 PM or so.

It's HERE, near Columbus Circle.

1.  Playing the djembe: not so easy, actually.
2.  I have "a lot of issues going on" (says the PHD in psychology.)
3.  Being an office manager sucks.
4.  Cooking bullets in an oven will make them go off. (thanks, Mythbusters!)
5.  Bulls react to motion, not to the color red. (thanks again, Mythbusters!)
6.  Watching TV: pretty educational, actually.
7.  In spite of, or perhaps because of everything that has transpired over the past few months, I am more confident than ever that Tuckaberry will be touring full-time within two years and that it will be my primary occupation even sooner.
8.  UPS sucks. Still.

 

In case you're planning on attending any of THIS , I made these:


 and you can buy them HERE.

Happy pride, everyone!

Saw neurosurgeon #3 today.  He's my favorite, and will be the one I go to if the time comes, which he said he kind of thinks it probably will.  He echoed number two, marveling at the fact that I can even walk, much less work.  "You have clever nerves" he says. He also marveled at the enormity of my herniation.  It's starting to get a complex about its size.  I asked him to give me a really compelling argument not to operate electively.  And he did.  Paraphrasing: "I've seen it happen--granted, not on herniations as big as yours--where that tissue shrinks back and becomes absorbed by the body.  As long as you're getting better, as long as the weakness in your leg is mild, as long as you don't experience any of the emergency symptoms (foot drop, incontinence), we need to hold out hope that this can happen for you."  

Okay.  When you put it that way, I get it.  Also, apparently, surgery does weaken the spine slightly.  Pretty compelling side note.

We discussed future baby.  "Get an MRI before you start trying to get pregnant" he says.  If the herniation is still the same, we need to talk about surgery again.  No matter what happens, he says I should probably elect cesarian birth, as natural birth would be enough to cause more serious damage to the blown disc as well as the bulging one and the ones which look dehydrated and iffy.  And while it's not ideal, pregnancy at any stage does not contra-indicate anesthesia and spinal surgery if necessary, or another MRI.

I am amazed at how not afraid of the future I am any more.  I feel like I have all my plans, my backup plans, and my backup backup plans in place.  And you know, when you make plans nothing ever goes wrong.  But they do make you feel better about the unsure.  Plans, that is.  Make you feel better.  Well, they do me.

So I feel pretty good.  I don't know how the nerves find their way around that blob, but whatever.  If it works, don't fix it.  And if it stops working, we'll deal with it.  Now I have three neurosurgeons who know me and have my insurance information.  I've got doctors in two boroughs and I can schedule surgery within a matter of days if the time comes.  In the meantime, I'm cleared to begin gentle excercise (hold off on the climbing, and I think the boxing gloves will need to be permanently hung up) and can go about life like before.  Well, not like before.  Because I've got to go about it differently to stay well.  

So I can go about life...anew.  

For now.  

And that's okay.

 

 Figured out how to export the slides from the CD rom to my computer.

So here's what the inside of me looks like.



Yes, the spinal column is  INSIDE the spine, but the nerves come out in shoots at each vertebrae on either side of the ligament that keeps the spine together in back and front. 

Look, at least it's not a fetus.  You can look forward to that sonogram blog in about a year and a half.

Met the second neurosurgeon yesterday, and followed up with number one.  (Both named Cohen.  As one of the managers at work said: "Good.  A nice Jewish boy.")

I'm responding very, very well to conservative treatment.  Conventional wisdom and protocol say that when a patient responds well to conservative treatment, surgery is not necessary or wise.  Both surgeons agree on this, and they both say that as long as I'm improving, we should hold off.

However, that being said:  they both agree that I am a good candidate for surgery.  They both marveled at the enormity of my herniation (7.5 out of 10) and Cohen number two stated: "You look a lot better than your imaging.  Based on this MRI I expected to see someone in much worse shape, with pain and numbness on both sides."  I told him he should have seen me a few weeks ago.

So here's what makes all of this so difficult:  If I don't get the surgery, my chances of another flare-up (it's a foregone conclusion that it will be worse each time) are better than 50%.  If I do get the surgery, chances of another flare-up are about 5%.  And if I wait until another flare-up to do it, the success rate drops.  And what if said flare-up occurs when I've gone and gotten myself pregnant?  Can't do a cortisone shot then.  BUT.  If I get surgery, my recovery from this episode will be much longer.  I'll be out of work for a month.  If I continue to improve and gain strength with conservative treatment, I could feasibly be climbing in time for the end of the summer season outings.  If I get the surgery, no climbing till 2009. 

Not that climbing is my main motivation to improve, but it's a good marker of wellness.  "Well enough to climb" is as good as it gets.

So what to do?  Once you choose to cut, you can't go back.  But the numbers do look better on the surgery side.  I thought that by doing gobs and gobs of research, I'd feel empowered and capable of making this decision.  But case studies and randomized studies tell nothing useful.  This condition is too varied from case to case.  And mine is not an obvious choice.
 

I made this for Marleah's birthday at her behest.  And I feel like sharing her gift with the staggering masses who read this blog.



Happy birthday, Marleah.

When you're the kind of person who's not used to having any kind of healthy energy flow, suddenly setting all the qi-a-flowing actually will make you motion sick.

So if you're a generally nervous, uptight, circulatorily-challenged type and think that acupuncture is a good idea, you're probably right.

I just recommend not eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich two hours prior.

I didn't barf.  But I did have to have all the needles quickly pulled out and lie on my side for a few minutes.

I'm going back on Friday.  Good times.

Still hurty.  Seeing more doctors than I ever have in my life.  Spending literally hundreds of dollars on cab fare and even more on acupuncture (not covered by Oxford unless you have cancer)  Still can't walk a block (with the exception of Wednesday evening, when I miraculously managed to go for THREE whole blocks!) 

Good times.

 

In the enchanted Forest of Fables, it seems everyone learns their lessons the hard way. An unlikely pair of friends, Fox and Donkey, search the land for an elusive "happy ending" amidst a cast of bumbling humans, snooty scavengers, and terrified bunnies. Along the way, the heroes learn about trust, friendship, and the secret of enduring happiness through song, antic wordplay, and big-band swing.

 Saturdays, March 29, April 5 and April 12 at 1:00 and 3:00 P.M.

Sundays, March 30 and April 6 at 3:00 P.M.

At the Impact Theater, 190 Underhill Avenue, Brooklyn, NY

 Click HERE for a map

 Tickets for these performances are:

$10 for adults, $7 for children (12 and under) and FREE for children 3 and under